


Vulcan 101

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-07
Updated: 2006-04-07
Packaged: 2018-08-15 21:59:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Archer learns Vulcan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

Archer walked into the mess hall and looked around. Hoshi waved to him, signaling him to walk toward her.

"Hello," he said. He smiled at her, as he took a seat.

"Good morning, Captain." She smiled back, noticing he was shifting in his seat trying to get comfortable. She frowned. "You're not nervous about this, are you?"

He winced. "Well, maybe a little." He leaned toward her. "The last language I learned was Spanish." He looked down and drew his lips together. "My teacher called me 'No Intiende Archer.'"

She giggled. "Well, you know other languages. So, you must not be that bad."

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "I convinced my principals to let me take additional science classes instead of language courses."

"But, I thought by junior high, they taught all children at least two languages?"

He put his hand on his neck and scratched, shaking his head slowly. "No."

She pursed her lips. "Well, you know English."

He nodded and smiled. "That I do know."

She giggled again. "Well, that's a good place to start." She looked at him for a moment and frowned. "You didn't bring a PADD as I suggested."

"I didn't think I'd need one for the first class." He grinned and began to lean back in his chair.

"What do you mean you don't need one for your first class?" she asked. She raised her voice and wagged her finger at him. "When I was teaching I insisted my students bring something to take notes with on the first day. The first day is where you learn the basics. The fundamentals." She paused, further scolding him, "It's where you learn the 'A, B, C's. Don't you want to be prepared?"

He leaned back. "Don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously?" He shifted in his seat and grinned harder.

Hoshi put her hand on her head and blew out a deep breath. "Captain, you asked me to teach you Vulcan. I'm here. But I only want a serious student. Please go get a PADD and come back when you're ready."

"You're serious?" he asked. She was staring at him.

"You're serious," he said. Archer cocked his head to the side and looked at her. His brows furrowed.

"I don't have all day, sir," she said.

He squinted his eyes, looked at her again to make sure she was serious, and got up and left.

Hoshi began to mumble to herself. "I should never have agreed to do this." She took a sip of hot tea and mused about her new student. She wondered, 'Why in the world would he want to learn Vulcan now?'

After about ten minutes, Archer walked back with a PADD and writing instrument, and sat down with Hoshi. "Okay, teacher. Ready." He smiled.

She nodded. He was shifting in his chair again. She opened her mouth and he got up. "I just need a cup of coffee." She snapped her mouth shut and scrunched her lips from one side to another, and motioned for him to continue.

He came back with a cup of coffee, sat down, shifted a bit and looked at her. He smiled.

"Are you done?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"Need to go to the restroom or change chairs?"

He frowned at her again. "No."

She smiled. "Good." He shifted again, causing her to blow out a sudden burst of air.

He didn't seem to notice. "Well, how do we proceed?" He took a sip of coffee, slurping slightly.

She smirked. "Now, the most important thing to know about this language is the volume in which you speak. Vulcans speak softly, mostly because they have excellent hearing."

He nodded. "I can speak softly."

Hoshi continued, "The trick is to speak softly, while ensuring you are clearly heard." She paused, "Let's practice this." He took another slurp of coffee. "Repeat after me," she said in a normal tone.

He nodded.

"Hello, how are you?" she said quietly and clearly.

"Hello, how are you?" he responded quietly, but not clearly.

She nodded. "Not bad. Are you using your diaphragm, Captain?"

He shrugged, "Am I supposed to?"

"Yes, like when you sing." She paused. "You do sing, don't you?"

"Every morning in the shower," he grinned.

"Good. Listen to me again." She waited for a second. "Hello, how are you?"

He nodded. "Hello, how are you?" he said more clearly, but not as quietly.

"Okay, one more time, sir. Hello, how are you?" She put her hand on his stomach.

He responded in kind, "Hello, how are you?" He began to snicker.

"What's so funny?" She drew her hand back.

He shook his head, "I don't know. I just feel silly."

"Well, that last time was very good. Use that volume when you speak. You'll have to concentrate."

He stopped laughing and nodded. He sipped his coffee and shifted in his seat again.

She furrowed her eyebrows at him and sighed. "Another important thing to remember when speaking in Vulcan is the formality of the language. It's important to not rush or talk over someone. There's a certain amount of waiting for someone else to say something. However, their speech can be quite blunt."

He nodded. He slurped his coffee. Just as he did, he saw T'Pol enter and cross the room to reach for a mug of tea, while studying a PADD. Archer turned his back and slumped in the chair.

Hoshi smiled. "Sub-commander."

T'Pol walked over, as Archer put his hand in his hair. 'Not my lucky day,' he thought.

"May I inquire what you are doing?" asked T'Pol.

Archer rubbed his hand over his chin and mouth. "You know, just sitting here talking with …."

Hoshi interrupted, "Captain Archer has asked me to teach him Vulcan."

He shot her a deadly glance and looked up at T'Pol who was looming over him.

T'Pol's eyebrow shot up. "Is that so, Captain?"

He swallowed hard. "Well, I figured since I have a Vulcan first officer, and have to talk with Vulcan High Command occasionally, that it would be a good idea." He seemed a little embarrassed, as he lied to impress her.

Hoshi pointed toward a chair and offered T'Pol a seat. "Perhaps you can help."

Archer said suddenly, "You know, I should probably get to some reports …."

T'Pol inclined her head. "As your first officer, I would be … happy to assist you."

Archer shifted in his seat.

"Sub-commander, is there anything you would want Captain Archer to know about your language?"

She thought for a moment. "The tone of your voice is vital. Saying it in one tone, may mean something entirely different. I think this might be something you would need to focus on, Captain."

He furrowed his eyebrows and snapped slightly, "I think I can get the right tone."

She inclined her head. "Very well. Then repeat after me: nirsh." She paused. "The word means 'no.'" She paused and said it again with great calmness. "Nirsh."

The sound was difficult for him to distinguish, but he decided to try. He mimicked, "Nursh."

Hoshi looked aghast and T'Pol shot both eyebrows up.

Archer looked back and forth from each woman. "Was it that bad?"

Hoshi began to laugh. "Captain, you just managed to call T'Pol something equivalent to a cur, and the tone you used indicated your strong dislike for her. The good news is - you weren't screaming, but you were speaking loudly."

He laughed. "This is much worse than Spanish class." He glanced at T'Pol with a sheepish grin.

"Perhaps your first foray into speaking Vulcan was unsuccessful, but you should continue to practice." She paused. "I would … enjoy … helping you continue you studies."

Hoshi nodded. "Although you're not a lost cause … and I mean this in the best way, sir … I doubt I have the patience for another lesson with you."

Archer scratched the side of his head. "Nooorish," he spoke more quietly. He looked at T'Pol, hoping this time it was right.

T'Pol looked him in the eye. "Thank you."

Hoshi widened her eyes, looking back and forth from T'Pol to Archer. "Sir, you just said she was very sexy. Uhm, and you used a tone of voice that was suggestive."

Archer let out a chortle and his face reddened. "It does seem I'll need someone with patience to teach me." He smiled at T'Pol.

"Lt. Reed to Captain Archer."

Archer looked at the two girls and got up, "Saved by the bell." He walked to the com. "Archer here."

"Sir, we're being hailed."

"On my way." Archer looked at T'Pol and Hoshi. He smirked. "Care to join me?" he asked motioning they come with him to the bridge.

Hoshi smiled and looked at T'Pol as they were walking out. "El capitan no itiende nada, T'Pol."

T'Pol nodded. "Claro que si."

 


End file.
